Lullabies for Carl and Nicky, at Maitri Hospice
Maitri hospice is such a beautiful place, the walls next to the stairs are covered with Buddhist prayers: May you be loved… May you be happy… May you be safe…
I’m welcomed by Stan, a tall black man and I can’t help but enjoy how different he is from sister Faustine from the Sister’s of Mercy hospice. He tells me two people have signed up for a lullaby. He gives me a tour and tells me about the people who are staying here. Most of them are homeless, or too poor to pay their own treatment. I wonder who came up with the idea to make hospitals so white, bright and clean. I can’t believe that would be more healing to people than this lovely place with a little inside patio with plants and a bowl of water where a bird is taking a bath in as we walk by.
In the dining room we meet Nicky, who ordered a lullaby. She is a big black woman, with the voice of a man. Her body fills all of her wheel chair. And I love the combination of the stubbles on her face and huge wig she is wearing. And then there is Carl a small guy with a white beard. He says I have beautiful eyes and that he loves my hair color. Wow… two compliments and I haven’t even started singing yet. I give the options for the lullabies. Carl prefers a Dutch lullaby, while Nicky would like to hear a song she knows. I follow Carl to his room. Carl says: ‘I don’t really know how this works.’ ‘Neither do I…’, I reply. I ask him how he is doing and Carl talks to me about his Aids related memory loss. I didn’t even know that existed. ‘I have a hard time to understand all of that.’, he says. ‘I would too’, I reply. As we look at each other I decide I’m not here to give him mental support, but to sing him a lullaby. There is no empty chair, so I ask is it’s okay if I sit on the side of his bed. I ask him if he’s comfortable. Carl puts his hand in his pants and fixes something on his crouch. Wow, didn’t see that one coming…
I explain what the lyrics of the song mean. How the porcupine realises that is different from the other animals and because of the spines he has. And then the mom tells him in the lullaby how every animal has something unique and how important his spines are, and that he is the most beautiful procupine in the world.
When I sing Carl my Dutch lullaby he doesn’t take his eyes of me when I’m singing which makes me a little shy, but I’m glad the atmosphere is not going the way I was afraid it would go. When the lullaby is over Carl keep thanking me over and over from the bottom of his heart. When I tell him the pleasure was all mine I mean it. I say goodbye to go to Nicky. I prepare my music box in a space where the nurses are and the are so interested in the music box that i end up singing them half a lullaby too.
When I come into Nicky’s room the nurse is giving her her shots. The room is filled with wigs and lots of clothes lying around, so I end up sitting on the bed again. Nicky’s face shows the pain of her shots although the nurse is obviously trying to be as gentle as she can. The nurse asks if she can stay for the lullaby. Sure…
As I sing the first lines of ‘Dream a little dream of me’ Nicky says: ‘Oh I love that one.’. Unlike Carl she stares at her feet all through the song.
Hearing people complement me every time on how beautiful my voice sounds is one of the many benefits of what I do. Nicky gives me a lovely hug, one of those really long ones. On my way out I leave some cards with the nurses.
As I walk down the stairs I repeat the prayer from the wall in my mind for the patients at Maitri: May you be loved… May you be safe… May you be at ease….
